Birth

 

,What am I doing?' she whispered to herself while pouring a hot, black tea into the old cup that once was given to her by her favorite meemaw. 

And suddenly she realized that today has happened before. Everything was so familiar. Every gesture, every note of the sparrow's song, the quiver that would make her hands shiver and make her drop a spoon. Everything has happened before. 

The feeling of a heavy despair fell on her and she felt like she'd been running in the neverending circle. With a swallow she put her fingers on the silver necklace that she was wearing around her neck all the time. It was her mother's gift for a birthday. There was a silver pendant on it with a symbol of the infinity. 

Is the end of the beginning? And the beginning is the end? When a person comes to this world, somebody dies at the same moment. When you laugh, the person on the other side of the world cries. When you sleep, they wake up. When you eat, they starve. When you awake, they don't know. 

The breath became heavier. Her hazel irises helplessly searched for a glass of the water and as she tried to reach for one, the spoon fell to the floor. Just like it happened many times before. And will happen many times in the future yet. But how many times yet? Does this moment have the end? 

There must be some exit door. There must be some ending of this knot that she could yank on. 

,Run...away. Run...away.'

But where? How it was possible to run in the circles and finish the run? 

And yet her legs made her run. She rushed upstairs. For some reason there was a feeling inside of her that controlled her, whispering to her that there would be a clue in her bedroom. 

Once she approached the bedroom, she stopped by the circlerounded mirror. With a slight frown, she watched the reflection of herself on the shiny surface of the mirror. For that one moment, she completely forgot that the mirrors are her biggest fear. And now she was facing it without realizing that she suffer from this kind of phobia. 

,We dragged you here. You fell in here. You need to see. You need to be.' She heard another whispers. These voice - she knew them. From the childhood. But back at that time, she heard them only as a creepy, squawking whispers that made her be scared of the mirrors. And now she understood. 

The pair of the deep irises was hidden beyond her eyelids and the palm of her pale hands touched the mirror to get the connection.

The attacking snake. The wind. The ocean bloom. The explosion. The cold. The heat. The birth. The fast time flow. The heartbeat. Snake wrapping around her throat and ankles. The whisper of the giant octopus. The arousal. The awakening. 

Now she's seen it all. 

And she let out a loud breath. Now she was standing at the edge of the cliff. Alone. The wind. The ocean bloom. The sound. It was now a one piece. The perfect harmony. The piece. 

She fell on her knees and tears were running down her cheeks. The biggest understanding wrapped it's arms around her. And she understood that the fear was the one that was making her paralyzed. But the fear also opened her eyes. Yin and Yang. There's always a light in the dark. 

And now she became complete. She awoke...and could go anywhere. Because she was a part of it all.