Forgiveness

 Nejraději píšu svoje příběhy v angličtině. Ta mi pomáhá otevřít se a lépe se vyjádřit. Musím ale přiznat, že někdy během svého psaní pláču - skvělá terapie, no ne?

The pair of the hazel irises trailed along the unknown place. It was so dark. And yet she could spot the shape of the interior. Was she in church? The bared feet of hers were ripped by the thorns as she walked through the small aisle between the pews. She knew she's not there alone. Not even the church was a safeplace. And the thorns wrapped around the thin ankles of the girl. 

With a fatigue and the light of the hope in her eyes, she bent down on her knees, elbows resting on the altair. The air sneaking into the building through the tiny, tiny spaces in between the bricks of the old church, played with the endings of her hair.

Helplessly she looked up to the statue of the crucified Jesus. He was the one that she trusted into. Still she hoped to find the answers. The drops of the blood oozing out of the scratches on her feet were creating the small puddle on this holy land while she silently glared to Jesus. 

"Does this suffering have the end?" She asked while closing her eyes to swallow the bittersweet flavour of the despair. "Is...anyone alive out there? Why are you keeping me alive?"

And as she asked the question, the monstrous knocking hit the gate. But the girl didn't move. She seemed to expect it. She knew that they will find her. 

"Please, take me. I can't...take me to you." She groaned while the salty tear ran down the pale cheek of hers. In the moment the priest stepped out of  the pulpit. 

"You're begging for a death. And yet you haven't finished what he's asking you for." He walked right over the girl, watching her with his blue eyes. But she never stand up, she remained on her spot, kneeling, crying.

"How can I finish this task? I...I can't do it."

"You have to do it. He's asking you to do so. Only if you do it, you can be saved. You and I remained for a reason. He died for us."

She closed her eyes and looked down swallowing the teardrops that sneaked into the warmth of her mouth. 

"Only if you finish your task, then we will be able finally rest." He put his finger under the girl's chin and made her to look up at him. She did so. Even she didn't want to. But she had no other choice. 

"You have to be very careful. Very conscientious. She is already here - waiting for you. It's now or forever."

With the priest's words, the gate opened and there she was. Together with the people that the girl knew. Deceased. The priest stepped behind the girl that she got on her wounded feet to face the other one. The twin? But she looked way more...dead.

"Now we are facing each other again. You, alone - with the poor whisperer on your mind and me with the people that - I believe - you recognize. The ones that you buried. The ones that buried you. But you forbid them when you left. You forbid us. Because of your fear. And never gave us a chance. Tell me, why are these thorns in here?"

"To remind me of a pain..."

"It's not right. It doesn't feel right, does it? Bleed in the church that only the dark embraces."

"The dark came with you."

"You're wrong - the darkness showed up with you. This darkness is your fault."

"How could be it my fault?"

"You are searching for a difficult answer for an easy question. Your fear is blinding you. You never dealt with the fact that you are here - in our world now - so you escaped us."

"She is trying to trick you." The priest whispered to the girl.

"Am I?"

"He's making you to feel guilty the whole time. This is not the man that you once heard. I met the man. This is not the place that you belong into - we've been there for a moment. It's full of the light and relief and calm. The world when you finally feel free. The world where the fear is gone just like your worst nightmares. All you have to do is to forgive."

"She's lying to you..."

"How can I forgive? How can I...just let it all go?"

"You have to believe in yourself and make the fear go away. You'll meet all of your loved ones there. This is not their place, nor yours. Take my hand..."

And so the girl did, reaching for the other ones hand. Few of the sunrays slipped through the windows that were hidden under the thick surface of the dust and dirt. 

"Forgive yourself. We all do mistakes. You saved people. You helped them to step into the light and you belong there too."

"Come with us.

Don't be affraid.

They are waiting for you." The soft, angelic echoes danced all around just like the dazzling white light. 

"Let the pain go. 

You're still unique.

You don't belong in here.

You can smile again.

Do you remember when you smiled for the first time?"

The flashing flow of her memories ran like a film in front of her eyes. Her mom, grandma and dad washing the baby for the first time, the first Christmas, her mother being pregnant again, birth of her younger sister, she sleeping next to the baby together with her dad and mom - the happy family.

And she started to cry. 

Forgiveness.

Her body started to decay in the beautiful white and blue tiny sparks. 

The end is the beginning and the beginning is the end. 

And the silhouette melted away just like the surroundings of the church.

"Time of a death 17:30, it's 15th September 2023."